There's a reason why 2 people stay together: they give each other something nobody else can

I've been longing to blog But over the past year, every time I wanted to write and publish, I would ask myself "why am I writing this?Why do I need to tell people this?" I was kinda having my own internal conflict plus there were so many stories last year about the pedophiles and the viral story about the chat groups that share pictures of small children among them that it made me scared So..why am i writing here again? Because..I recently made a self reflection and listed some of the reasons why I wanted to write at first: 1. Peer pressure (blogging was really popular back then and somebody suggested that I do it) 2. To earn extra income from Nuffnang (that somebody told me about this too) but hahahahahah clearly am not getting anything so far 3. I want to polish my writing skills (this is true) 4. I want to share. Somehow some people found my blog and email me personally how my writings /personal experience relate to them and some of them benefited from my r...

It's almost 3.30 am and I'm wide awake Besides the big belly, the other contributing factor to this sleep problem is the hot weather -which is said to last until June masyaa Allah Not a good news to a pregnant mother Anyway today marks our 10th anniversary Ten. Sepuluh. Just wow. I remember clearly how tough it was in the first 5 years of marriage Going to ofc with mata bengkak from crying whenever we had arguments and when ppl ask on the mata bengkak the normal answers were: "Smlm migraine x boleh tidur" "Kena kencing lipas/gigit serangga rasanya" With smile on the face. It stopped the questions but the emotions that ran through me the whole day was entirely a different story Reflecting on marriage early on, you don't actually know yourself and your other half before marriage You only get to know the real him and the real you after that marriage the process of understanding and reacting to one another is extremely a hard task You hav...

I found a new way of healing That is When I feel hurt, I tell myself that I expected too much.

Don't run away when you know you are guilty Don't take things for granted saying it's nothing when you it's not Don't leave things as it is Get a closure Don't let the wounds go deeper

Err..hello? *cricket sound* Okay okay lemme explain on the long hiatus Blame the Instagram I like it much better over there. Pictures with some caption and no newsfeed or sick ads   Anyway..we are still in Syawal so a lil bit update here It was a very simple celebration for us in Seremban and Muar this year, we didn't even get ourselves new clothes for Hari Raya (read: economic downturn.little bonus) but Hannan and Suphie enjoyed Raya so much. They enjoyed visiting relatives, meeting the young ones especially and getting angpows. They also enjoyed wishing people "Selamat Hari Raya" without fail,every time. And they love singing Hari Raya song by Ahmad Jais and Suasana Hari Raya. Oh and they started screaming to each other already. Yup, the sisters rivalry. So we still trying to convince them that talking nicely to each other gets things done even faster than the hard way. But when one is not around the other one will look for her.  On my part..I...

When you are feeling upside down and the whole world, including your mind and body are all against you.. Take a break Talk about it Cry And get some hugs

I always remind myself Earn respect, not fear Treat others the same way you want them to treat you And don't take other people's kindness for granted But most of the time i forget about it Sometimes i show my disagreement in silence.sometimes i just say it out loud. Depends. My weaknes - i expect people to see some issues from my point of view. From where i stand. My body was in some sort of auto mode for the last few weeks that i started to wonder everytime i wake up in the morning "Why am I waking up today?" Because of work? To cook? to pray? I started questioning myself. And was feeling so  empty inside. Is this all worth it? Is this how my life should be? It thought my life was losing its balance I had no one to talk about it because i simply i didn't have the time. I just need tlc tlc tlc more and more each day

H: Nk mkn apa malam ni? W: Nasik!! H: Ish nasik..nasik..nanti ckp gemuk marah pulak!! :) Oh..btw..it is almost 3 weeks now that we moved into our new house and we are sooo much in love with it and i enjoy having my own me time doing laundry while the kids and daddy slewping in the weekends..and although much interior works are still in progress (or rather not progressing as we anticipated) we hope with much patience it will turn out to be like what we have in our minds... Spreading so much love from the laundry area 😂

Hello mid march 2015 I've told mr.husband that it's going to be a heavy 1st quarter of 2015. Indeed it is. Piles of files on my desks. When we thought it's ending suddenly so many other things came up. As crazy as it sounds, I never complain about my workload. I never see them as burden. It's the responsibility and the trust that actually weigh me down.  All i need is just some understanding from people who have interest on those piling files that I'm just a human.A break from work is very limited. I spend less time with family. And sometimes in fulfilling my role in the house I also need to constantly remind my family that I'm just a normal person. That sometimes i need some break too. It's very hard carrying so much expectations. That you must be have flawless skin, slim and fit body, stay pretty all the time being a mum of 2 who are now in their active phases while at the same time manage the house, breastfeed, play with kids, show your love to ...

it has been raining for few days and this little heart of mine keeps worrying about the flood victims in the east coast it is said to be the worst flood disaster in 30 years Lord...have mercy upon us and this nation and guide us through..

phobia is.. an extreme or irrational fear of or aversion to something and it haunts even in your dream..never failing to make you cry over and over again Hello gloomy Monday Let's us start our day with this: "Or who is it that could provide for you if He withheld His provision? But they have persisted in insolence and aversion" Al-Mulk:21 and this: source:Iheartorganizing source: Iheartorganizing

So recently the wife bought duck coconut shake knit jersey feeling all confident and pretty wanted to wear it And the day she wore it.. H: when did u buy this shawl? W: oh..just recently (feeling awkward apala agaknya the reaction) H: hmm..i think u look better in colored shawls..this color looks like telekung W: (tergelak) ye ke.. hahaha (so much feeling being "in trend") Moral of the story: pls consult your husband before buying

recently i asked my other half what does he think my passion is, to which he answered "online shopping" and "your job" I was really surprised.  not that I was expecting a particular answer but to realise that "what..now I'm only into that?" and it made me sad because I think I'm not contributing anything to the family.  So I revisit my daily schedule. ok. so apart from work, my life revolve around my family and stalking people. doesn't sound good. so allow me to revisit what interest me most during those single days. I used to love reading love stories, novels.  I can spend hours to make sure i finish the book. I also loved reading Islamic history  I wanted to learn japanese.  and now, after having 2 child, we are overwhelmed with work,  brainstorming about getting more income and our children. So I think I need to have my passion back. I want to read again. last book I read was Tan Sri Syed Mokhtar biog...

Unsecured. Low self esteem. Struggling. Drowning. Exhausted. Lowest point.

source:google source: google source:google I think something is wrong with me. I can't wake up early as I used to. I wanna be that perfect mom who cook breakfast for her husband and kids, do the laundry, clean up the house before going off to work. I wanna bake. I wanna go to spa. I want to exercise. those are the things I wanna do for the past 17 months. yet to accomplish. I wanna look pretty all times while picking up the garbage, throwing and cleaning dirty diapers or washing the dishes and sweeping the floor I guess I'll just..hmm..*yawn

aaaaahhhhhh...pap..parapp.. (intro for Raya song) Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri..Maaf Zahir Batin to friends, family and fellow readers It has been a month..and I miss you blog! so much to talk about.so much to tell. but at this point of time, I forgot most of it. On Raya: I was down with fever/bad cough/flu/migrain from raya eve to 3rd raya. (oh this year at JB) So I spent most of the time in the car, sleeping, crying, tak larat. Not fun Even looked horrifying in our family raya picture. so no raya pic here. But lucky people don't forget to give my kids duit raya heheh..thnk you..thnk you On kids: Hannan - lots of questions from her at this stage "why Ummi? Because..?" then cebik2 her face H: what is Allah doing..? U: Allah is watching us sayang.. H: watching Hannan in the tv? U: urmm..maybe! but the funniest one came out from her yesterday: H: can we go to hotel Ummi?Hannan wanna go to hotel.. U: Can..but you have to pay if you wanna say at t...

I need me time

Your wife seems moody. Not looking at you when she's talking. Or her voice tone is irritating you. You know something is wrong but you don't know what it is. Don't fret. Go to the nearest bakery shop.or a drive through Starbucks.  Get her fav drink and cake. Let her eat and drink immediately. She'll smile and laughing at herself while eating because of the drama. And you don't have to worry seeing her in that condition no longer. IF you did worry la. Approved and tested method.

Super early, super simple celebration, just the 4 of us thnk u hubs I hope we won't feel old in giving each other more surprises or bday presents in coming years (presents?keep them coming!) Oh, and it's Suphie's first time on the plane! She was crying (read: loud) at first and I know it must have been challenging for other passengers (sorry!) but after giving her expressed milk, she fell asleep right away. And as I mentioned in previous post, Hannan is no longer afraid of the beach sand and sea. She played her version of sand castle for hours. The weather was cloudy so it was all just nice for her. I love the hotel staffs. from housekeeping, concierge, buggy driver, kitchen staffs. they have been friendly last time and still are. We just went out to Hj Ismail shop for chocolate shopping and spent the rest of the time in the hotel. Oh and we had a photography session on the second day. Our photog was Zamerul Md Noor from gorgeouslypictured.com. He clearly k...

this is a long due post..fuh.. happy belated birthday daddy! I had so many plans in mind..like plan A and B and backups and whatnot.. plus list of present ideas but I didn't managed to execute them with proper details as I have so little time..(and ehem budget..) well you know..in between breastfeeding and crying baby and playing with our lil princesses and work and sleep yes.sleep is very important to me nowadays. If i don't have enough sleep I usually get headache and sickness and cranky all day and my milik won't get produced as much as they should be. see? moms need a lot of rest and sleep. oops.anyway. one of the best thing about knowing your husband's bffs is u get them to execute plan. in my husband's case, his bffs go way back during school years and I saw their wedding and having children journey (except for one of them which is still single. pls contact me if any of you interested).. and they always go out together for mamak or futsal sessions....