Second Visit to PCMC: 19 Sept 2011

This morning Hannan was admitted to NICU. Again. Really feel bad for her. Really feel like I didn't treat her good enough. Poor baby.. Sorry Hannan, Ummi didn't know..

We are actually thankful to Iwan who noticed Hannan's conditions during hubby's friends' "surprise visit" yesterday. We were so confident of Hannan's health and condition at home that we totally forget about it. That the jaundice might come back. Because we were totally overwhelmed by her presence at home. By her cry. By her smile. And the way she behaved. She's such an angel. We totally forget about the jaundice.

After Iwan and the rest left, I tried to bf her but she appeared weak. and was so deep in sleep. I cried to hubby. I panicked. We quickly called PCMC and went there straight away.

I wept hearing her cried to her lungs when the nurses took her blood sample yesterday. Twice. The reading was 248. The M/O said he had discussed with Dr. Sharmila and Hannan need not be admitted. But she needs to see Dr. Sharmila tomorrow morning (today).

So yesterday I tried to bf her as much as possible. But she just got weaker. It took us almost 2 hours just to wake her up. I cried. and cried. Can't bear to see her that weak.

So this morning we went to the ER again for her blood sample and straight away went to see Dr. Sharmila. This morning result was high at 291 as compared to yesterday's result 248. And her weight plunged. Dr. Sharmila asked whether I was breastfeeding her adequately. I felt guilty. Dr. Sharmila said Hannan need to be admitted for phototherapy. She also advised that I bf Hannan more frequent at 3 hour intervals. For that, I need to be here at the hospital. Upon Dr. Sharmila's advice, we decided to stay at PCMC lodging room for RM150 per night. All money in the world is nothing compared to her.

.. just can't stop weeping.. perhaps I should share some pictures that I took this morning:

the room with basic facilites- satellite channel TV, one sofa, fridge,safebox, attached bathroom, towel oh ya, the RM150 rate includes 5x meals which is very vfm

view from the room

Hannan at 6.30 pm. Ummi and daddy miss you sayang

I also like to thank our family for their continuous love and support... Being a new parent, both family support are priceless..

And only today that I came to realise upon hearing Dr. Sharmila's words..that now we have brought her home we know her better..and everyday we learn something new about her, about being a parent..and that's what life is all about...

To dearest, dearest hubby..you are my rock..really appreciate what you did to cope this new phase with me..you've been a huge support.. I'm sorry if I ever troubled you in any way.. love you so much..